About My Relationship
in 2006, i went to israel on a trip for about a month with around 40 other kids. we traveled throughout the country and did a lot of different things but… for a week, we stayed with an israeli host family. everyone was split up into different groups and throughout the day we’d all be together doing activities as one big group. this was the first time i met my now girlfriend. i wasn’t staying at her house, but i messed with her every time we were all together. i don’t know how, or why even her in particular… but i just felt the need to always be near her. i didn’t realize it at the time, but we were flirting with each other non stop. she’d steal my hat and i’d steal her sunglasses or something of the sort, i think just so that we could interact in someway. we barely even talked. how could we? i didn’t understand hebrew very well at the time and she wouldn’t speak english. we interacted through her friends who would speak to me in english. maybe that’s what was so intriguing about it… i don’t know. all i know is that last day with had there with all of the new israeli friends we made… was such a sad day for me. i cried as soon as we got on the bus and i don’t know why. she cried and… she isn’t (or wasn’t) the type of person to cry. i guess i didn’t give it much thought at the time. but now i look back at it and it was like i was leaving part of me behind there.
the two years after that, her and i kept in touch a little. not much. she’d message me on myspace every now and then but i was always so busy with my own relationships and stuff that i really didn’t give her much thought. then we connected on facebook and i told her i was coming back to israel that summer, in 2008, for my sister’s bat mitzvah. she told me that she wanted to see me while i was there… and although it was really difficult to get in touch, she was able to make it to the hotel i was staying at one night. we hung out and when she had to leave… again, she started crying… which made me cry. it was the same feeling. i even had a girlfriend at the time, nothing really made sense. i remember walking back into my hotel room and 5 minutes later she was at the door again, just for one more hug. that made me cry even more.
then i came back home and went back to my normal every day life. we still sort of kept in touch, nothing to really talk about though. she was there for me when my girlfriend passed away. she sent me things… all the way from israel, and that’s something i never expected. no matter how far away she was, she was there for me. she sent me a birthday present. and still, we were just kind of friends that sporadically messaged each other back and forth.
then before last school year ended, she randomly messaged me again. and this time i took interest for some reason, maybe it was because i’ve been taking hebrew in school and i was starting to understand her. she started helping me with hebrew and trying to get me to understand what she was saying. we started talking every day. as much as possible. and before i knew it, i felt it. i had feelings for her and i didn’t know what to do because as far as i knew, she had only ever had a boyfriend before. hell, she didn’t even know that people like me, girls who like girls, even existed when i first came there in 2006. there was no way i was going to ever confront her about it… but i knew she felt something. i could see it in the way she spoke to me. i just didn’t think it would ever go anywhere. boy was i wrong.
we spent so much time talking to each other. on video chat… me trying to understand every word she said. it was intriguing. it was exciting. it made me happy. she made me happy. and when summer rolled around i headed to italy. while i was there she was trying to get her visa to come to the US to visit her uncle and also to visit me. they denied it and she was devastated. so devastated that her mom messaged me on facebook through her little brother’s account and told me that she wanted to send her to italy for the last week we were there. i told her everything i could, where we’d be and how it would work out… but there were no flights and it didn’t end up working out. and for that, i’m thankful. because as soon as i got home… i knew that i had to find my way to israel. i knew that i had to book a flight and go see her.
so i got home and i thought about it. and i was scared out of my mind because i had never before flown by myself, let alone to the other side of the world. but it didn’t matter to me. somehow i knew i’d be okay because at the end of it all i’d be there with her. so i did. and i went. and we spent 3 amazing weeks together. during which was a whole array of emotions. confusion, hurt, happiness, love. at first, she wouldn’t look me in the eye. it drove me crazy because i can tell what someone is feeling just by looking into their eyes. with her, i couldn’t. i didn’t understand it.. until now. she didn’t know what she was feeling. she wasn’t expecting any of it. and before she could accept it…. it took a while. but things started changing, we started getting more comfortable with each other. and one day i had the balls to ask if i could kiss her. to my surprise she nodded her head and… that, that moment. was the start of it all. the moment i knew we’d be together and last.
this is way too long and if you’ve gotten to this point, you deserve an award. but for those who are interested, this is our story. stick around for more. :)
here’s to us…. to our future… and to our life together.